I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
wow bdsm is so cute
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
