I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Is it because I queefed?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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