saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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