Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
