My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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