Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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