Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
