there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize