In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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