They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize