I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He better not be in your backpack
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
