my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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