Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
