The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
