Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I deserve this hangover.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
