ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
