We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
