it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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