at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
