Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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