Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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