He asked me if I "almost moaned"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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