This is not my ceiling
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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