how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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