my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
