I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize