I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
