K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
