sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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