do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize