Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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