Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
