the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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