All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I would fuck him just for his dog
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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