Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
