Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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