So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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