I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
