Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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