I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
