I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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