All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
vagina is talking i cant
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
