apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
