yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Blood and glitter go together right?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
