Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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