You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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