Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I smell like Dick and happiness
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize