We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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