okay pat passed out under dana's car
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
