Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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