I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
