went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
