Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I have already put on my inside pants.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
