is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
