KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
