vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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