today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
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