At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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