We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
