And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
