Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize