I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
