Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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